Sticky fingers

I walked into Joseph's room this morning and it just smelled "sweet." This is unusual; it usually smells a little funky.

"Joseph's where's the candy?"

He played innocent at first, but he's a terrible liar. A smile crept across his face.

After some questioning he finally produced a pack of gum I KNEW didn't come from a birthday party goody bag, and he fessed up: he had taken it from the checkout area at Target.

What, exactly, am I supposed to do with this?

I'm going to make him take it back to Target and pay for it, natch, but otherwise ...? Otherwise, I'm not sure what my response is supposed to be.

He swiped the gum Wednesday night. And yesterday he "found" a quarter -- my quarter, mind you -- at the pool while I was in the bathroom with Miriam. He took it up to the snack bar and asked if it were enough to buy ice cream. They apparently said yes, and gave it to him! A disgusting Spiderman Ice cream!!!

I come out of the bathroom, and someone says, "That's so cute. Is that your son doing the ice cream dance over there? He's so excited to be eating ice cream."

"No," I think, "That can't be my boy. We've already discussed ice cream, and he knows he can't have it. and besides, where would he have gotten the money?"

It WAS my boy.

He hadn't taken a bite yet, so I tried to return it to the snack bar, but they wouldn't take it back. I explained to them that he isn't ALLOWED ice cream, that he's off dairy, that the food coloring will turn him into a crazy child ... They were apologetic. I then searched out another kid to whom I could gift the ice cream. Joseph's friend Lindsey was happy to be the recipient of his ill-gotten gains (I, of course, made sure to check with her mother first), and I made Joe reimburse me the quarter.

So, is he still having sugar cravings after months on an uber-restrictive diet? Just a kid who feels deprived? Or a boy destined for a life of crime?

Comments

[Deborah]

can't tell you how pleasurable it was to have spaghettios at my friend's house. that delightful meal in a can was not allowed in my mother's kosher kitchen. everything tastes better when it's off limits.

i doubt a life of crime is his future. i'll let you know what our kid chooses to steal first.

[Jung]

You can't blame the boy for being a subject of intense marketing study - you know, how they put all the sugary, colorful items right at kids' eye levels and the expensive items right at adult eye levels.

And, I agree with Deborah.

[Ashley]

Is it wrong that I am laughing?

[Bill]

It's like Jurrasic Park, you can try to control it but life will always find a way.

[Kris]

I stole a tin of cinnamon (the spice) from the grocery store when I was five. I LOVED cinnamon flavored candy so imagine my surprise and joy when I saw a whole CAN of it on the shelf. I knew my mom would never buy it for me because it was way too expensive so I pocketed it and then crawled under my bed to eat my loot. Imagine my surprise, and dismay, when I realized that cinnamon the spice is NOT cinnamon candy. And then my mom found me under the bed.

I think I was so pathetic with the powder all over me, and the disgusted look on my face, that I didn't even get in trouble.

And no, I did not turn to a life of crime. As far as you know.

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