"Asher has two mommies."

That's what Hannah whispered in my ear last week at synagogue as she eyed her friend Asher sitting behind us.

"I know," I whispered back.

"The one with the short hair, and the one with the long hair," she whispered again.

"I know," I whispered back.

"I want two mommies."

"What about Daddy?"

"I want him, too."

Hannah's three, so she doesn't get the whole gay-straight thing just yet. But, I can only assume that as a little girl trapped between an older sibling and a younger sibling who always seems to want just a bit more nurturing than one mommy can give, she thinks two mommies might be the answer.

Truth be told, sometimes I could use another wife around here (preferably one that liked to clean), but that's a different issue all together.

What Hannah sees is that Asher and his little brother Levi are well loved, and well cared for. She knows that they have two mommies, but blessedly, other than thinking them lucky, she doesn't find it one bit strange. It just is. And that is how it should be.

Next week Californians will go to the polls to vote up or down on Proposition 8, a ballot initiative to "change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California." and add a new section stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

My heart aches every time one of these initiatives gets on the ballot, and despairs when they pass. It all just seems so hateful. Constitutional amendments have always been used to expand rights, not limit them. I do not now, nor have I ever, understood why the social conservatives are so afraid of gay marriage.

It's not as if Hannah is now more likely to take a wife just because she has been exposed to a family with two wives. Her sexual orientation will not be decided by her exposure to families with gay parents any more than the sexual orientation of homosexuals has been affected by their exposer to their own or anyone else's straight parents.

You know, the state of heterosexual marriage is pretty much in the toilet. I figure the more exposure my kids have to healthy, happy, committed, loving families -- of any orientation -- the better the chances that they will seek out, expect, and achieve healthy, happy, committed, loving marriages of their own some day.

So, if there are any readers out there in California, do all our kids a favor and vote NO on Prop. 8!

Note: Thanks to Deborah (the one with the short hair) for filling me in on "Write to Marry Day." You can also see my exposition on the subject over at Women's Work.

Comments

[Jung]

This is an awesome post on a very serious issue. I hope proposition 8 gets turned down.

[Shazamama]

Upon finding out a friend had two mommies, my peanut once asked, "Can you have three mommies?"

[DoulaMomma]

here, here...great post.

[deborah]

i'm asher's mom, and i approve this message. : )

it also made me weepy-in a wonderful way. thank you, angela.

we may have lost this battle, but i know it's far from over. it is, indeed, time for change.

[cycling shorts]

She knows that they have two mommies, but blessedly, other than thinking them lucky, she doesn't find it one bit strange. It just is. And that is how it should be.